| Writer's Block: RIP Michael Jackson |
[Jun. 26th, 2009|07:26 pm] |
"Black or White". Love the video, too. Other than that I never really liked any of his music, but I'm honestly really sad that he died. I think the world has lost someone incredibly talented and creative. Also, I think MJ was really like a 10 year old trapped in an adult's body. He never had a childhood and ended up kinda screwy because of that and abuse. Poor guy. Really hope that he's in a better place now.
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2009|11:11 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
I'm sorry that I keep posting like this - I'm just really need to express my excitement to be starting on my MA, and having a real direction.
I will be able to get an education on my own terms.
I really can't wait. :)
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| tattoo ideas, thinking of tattoos makes me happy |
[May. 25th, 2009|01:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
I've been debating what to get as my next tattoo, which I want to be words above the rising phoenix on my back. (click there to see a pic of it if you havent).
Here's what I've been considering so far:
- "carpe diem" (seize the day)
- "veni vidi vici" (i came, i saw, i conquered)
- "die fighting"
- "its my life"
I guess you can tell the theme. I can honestly say that I like all those quotes, but am leaning towards "veni vidi vici" or "its my life". I would love some input, though, or any ideas anyone has.
PLEASE!
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| Beatrice! |
[May. 23rd, 2009|10:16 pm] |
For this project I need a cow heart, some nails, a metal chain a jar, and some formaldehyde.
YESSSSSSS. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 19th, 2009|09:35 pm] |
I made a community called ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) nomadisms . I would love if people could join. Its just a place where you can post if you go on vaca somewhere, and would like to tell about it. That way, we can see the world through other peoples' experiences and perspectives.
Membership is open.....I don't expect daily or even weekly posts but whenever it can be done would be great. Having a community like this has been a goal of mine for a few months, so I hope at least some people join.
Also, ANY AND ALL suggestions/criticisms for the layout/profile are appreciated.
Thank you.
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| First, you try to fuck it. Then, you try to eat it. |
[May. 17th, 2009|03:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | MM- "arma-goddamn-motherfucking-geddon" | ] |
That was fun. Now that I'm graduated, I guess real life can begin.
Though I think that it already has.
I'm not particularly proud but at least I get to go to Cheeseburger in Paradise tonight.
PS, I don't like the new Manson song, or the video. I like the title of the album. Am debating whether or not to buy it. Loyalty to him says yes, but I know I probably won't enjoy it. I think we will never have another one as good as ACSS/MA.
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| THIS IS MY CAT |
[May. 9th, 2009|05:51 pm] |
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Isn't she pretty? Her name is Daydream Believer and I love her. |
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| LIFE. |
[May. 3rd, 2009|04:40 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
The world is such a beautiful (albeit harsh) place, and human's ability to experience things is so amazing.
There is so much to see, touch, smell, taste. That in mind, I fail to understand how it is that people don't want to feel it all.
I mean, how could you turn down walking a mile in the Sahara, or quietly and respectfully walking through the Valley of the Kings? How could you not want to watch the giant turtles of the Galapagos, listen to the wildlife there? How could you not want to watch in awe of the Northern Lights, or bathe under a waterfall in the rain forest? Interact with the people of a city in India or China or learn the customs of the natives of an island tribe?
I wish that I had the money and a second life in which I could see it all, experience it all. And that's not the alcohol talking. If I could see firsthand even just what I've listed above, I could die happy.I dont know why I posted this lol. |
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| just shoot me. seriously |
[Apr. 14th, 2009|06:38 am] |
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I'm in horrible pain. Kept me up since 2 am. This is one of those very, very few days where I'd take off my first job if I was able to do so. |
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| Happy Zombie Jesus Day! |
[Apr. 12th, 2009|08:05 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | excited | ] |
I got a digital camera!!!!!
My first one ever!
My mom got it for me. Its one of those really simple ones where you basically just press a button and the only option is "zoom", but hell yes I'm a total simpleton & thats perfect for me. (Ipods confuse me, for example).
I feel bad that/am confused as to why she spent so much money on it. It was prob like 50$. But very nice of her. I'm going to take pics of the cherry blossoms today if I can.
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| :-/ |
[Apr. 8th, 2009|05:13 pm] |
Like I said, I love my job.
But I wish they'd give us lunch breaks. 11 hours + no food = very tired director. |
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| death, jobs |
[Mar. 19th, 2009|07:01 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | DMB - One Sweet World | ] |
Long night. My brother was having chest pain again, so I set my alarm to wake me every hour to check on him. Much as he annoys me, I still love him and I don't want him to die. My fear was that he would die in his sleep.
Anyway, he's still breathing and all, and now I'm tired. A lot to do today. Have to nag the BOE about sending me papers, then apply for a job in Montclair, then hand in my papers for the camp over the summer.
I took a job for the summer that pays less than another job I was offered but that I enjoy more.
That whole "trying to enjoy life because you only live once" thing.
Yeah, I'm stupid. I keep having panic attacks about my brother and about work. I'm terrified that I'll never find a job that pays me enough money to leave, or gives me enough money in general.
The fact that I quit Clifton and that the new BOE is taking so long to send my papers makes me feel guilty as well. Guilty for not sticking it out and thus losing money.
Twisted feelings. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 15th, 2009|05:02 am] |
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I so wish that I could sleep more than 5 hours straight on a weekend. This whole "body not wanting to rest" thing is really really annoying, especially since its causing my memory to be shot to hell. |
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| "Here was the indefinable stink of despair; Here modesty was a luxury." - Griffin, "Black Like Me." |
[Mar. 13th, 2009|07:42 am] |
A lot of you probably do not know that I have a very strong interest in Black American history. When I get my MA, I am going to go to Rutgers Newark specifically so I can study with professors who have an interest in the field. I am primarily interested in the Civil Rights Mov't and the origins of the idea of race in N. America.
I strongly favor acceptance - not just tolerance - of all races, religions, sexual orientations, as well as social/political equality for all people...these feelings stem from my knowledge and interest in black history.
Anyway, I've been working on a photo that I can't seem to get right. I hate that - working on something and finding it impossible to get it perfect. I'll get there eventually, I just really want to do the picture justice, because the subject is something that means a lot to me:
Its called "Open Rebellion" and it is a combo pic of a front page shot from the New York Times of the 1967 Newark Riots, and a photo of the Million Man March of 1995. I did my senior thesis on the former subject, and the photo always stuck with me. The stories of brutality, corruption, poverty and discrimination behind the riots of the late 60s always hit me hard, too.
I have to blur the riot picture more, to blend in with the underlying crowd picture. Any other suggestions from you artists out there? I havnt worked with Photoshop in years, so I'm just getting into the swing of it again. Also, the blurred block under the boy I have to get rid of, but for some reason I can't get to whatever layer its on. Finally - does anyone remember how to feather an image?
Anyone have any suggestions? Color Schemes? I like the B&w and brown, but I'm always looking for insight if only because it feels enlightening to get different perspectives.
Yeah, no one is going to reply to this. :x
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| doctorate, starting new, photoshop |
[Mar. 11th, 2009|01:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | thoughtful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | MM - long hard road out of hell | ] |
I havent' told anyone, but I applied at Davis (CA) and Tulane (New Orleans), and I got into history doctorate programs at both. Tulane offered a full tuition scholarship and Davis offered a partial one. No housing, just tuition. Thanks to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) laliquey for helping me with my NYU statement, which I used as a template for the others.
I applied to see if I could get in, but financially it would not be feasible for me to go. Still, it raised a lot of thoughts...
Part of me really wants to move out of state and start over, away from my family. Lose contact with them, and just...live freely. I prefer the South, like Alabama or Louisianna or Georgia, because I enjoy the atmosphere. What keeps me here is my friends. I care about them, and I feel like I'd hurt them by leaving. I guess a compromise would be moving somewhere within NJ and changing my phone number...I don't think I'd have a problem with that, either.
I feel like if everyone gave me their blessing and told me they'd be ok if I left, I would have no reason not to go. Because really, what else do I have here? An unhappy life at home, two crappy jobs... Every day that I wake up in this house I generally feel miserable and angry and I try and try to fix these feelings but they still remain. I feel like I've been pushed past my limit and I'm not even sure how I'd go back to even respecting them.
by the way, i started this thing in photoshop of RSL. its unfinished (only about halfway done actually), but what do you think so far? i have a feeling that its wayyy brighter on my mac then it is on regular PCs.
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| bloom! |
[Mar. 7th, 2009|04:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  peaceful | ] |
It was about 65 degrees today, and the snow melted, and the first Daffodil buds came out of the ground. Soon the lilacs will grow and the tulips will come up they will open up and Spring will begin again.
Things like that are what make life good. |
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| ....What? |
[Mar. 4th, 2009|06:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
To clarify about my last (locked) rant, I have to explain what occurred today.
My kid was horrible. Screaming, yelling, hands in the air, kicking, everything, ALL day. Nothing worked. Even the principal could not calm him down.
So, by 1pm, I decide to talk to the teacher. I say, "PLEASE, please work with me to do something to help this. He needs behavior mod. Whatever needs to be done, i'll do it, just tell me."
And she stares at me. Fucking stares at me like I'm speaking Chinese or have three heads.
A minute of awkward silence goes by before I ask to see the kids IEP. If she can't or won't tell me what to do, then I can folllow the child study teams' guidelines. She refuses, telling me its illegal for me to see it, and refuses to even tell me whats on it.
I'm livid. This woman is truly fucking both her students and her staff over. I can't be a part of this anymore. |
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| jobs. |
[Mar. 1st, 2009|04:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
I just spent 30 minutes applying at a job that would've been great for me. It had to do with working to make an urban community better via a nonprofit organization (definitaly interested in that type of thing) I had experience in everything they were asking and then some. Also, I was likely asking for less money than normal. I filled out an application, and the computer told me the position was filled.
Its not that it would've been a great job that I can't have that bothers me, it bothers me that they kept it listed after it was filled, and I wasted 30 minutes on nothing.
The good thing that came out of this is that it showed me yet another career alternative. I think I could be happy in a position as a program director/manager for a charity or NPO. I enjoy helping others, and I have all the skills necessary. |
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| as per megan and photoshop |
[Feb. 25th, 2009|10:47 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  okay | ] |
tattoo:
it will have a black outline. what do you think?
btw heres a dumbass pic of me at work today. see what i get payed to do?
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